apparently I must be one of the most stupid and blur person around.. Cannot do this and worse still is also blur at the present. And the worst thing is tt becos I am blur abt certain things so I assume,and tt pple see it as though I am lying...Like today, I didn't know tt by still being CIC I am considered as a diploma student although I am studying a uni course. So of cos can u imagine the embarrassment I hv to go thru. And my new unit coordinator already hv a bad impression of me.. I couldn't explain to him today so I really hope he will understand when I do speak to him tmr..

These whole week has taken a lot of beating to my self esteem.From changing course etc. hah, I feel as though I am writing abt my psychology essay. Seriously, I never felt so low self esteem in my whole life. I don't think I was ever that aggitated too. I don't feel angry at most angry at myself for being so stupid. In fact I don't think I was ever tt stupid until now. Then whenever I go to sch or to some nearby place like shopping mall, I feel so worried if I see any of the teachers. It is like I want to be some fugitive, to be an escapist. I even took down the notes on the wall as I cannot even look at them. Then the other thing is tt I worry whether if I can cope with chemistry again and some new subjects. I want to be in control with my life but it is so fragmented now until it is so hard to piece them together again. my housemates hv been supporting and so r my ex-classmates. I know they are trying to cheer me up but asking me to go out, but I just don't want to see any single thing tt reminds me of it..