new semester!!
i noe resolutions r hard to keep but trying again thi sem..
soon my membership for wow will finish.. one less temptation.. hk series lazy to keep up.. now got new addiction.. watching bmt matches on youtube :(

my new timetable is scaring me already.. even up to now cant slp.. thinking how to cope with all these practicals.. i just dont like practicals.. im such a slow learner n theory is better as i can learn them at home.. maybe mum was right.. i should slp more and at appropriate hrs so i can hv the full conc during class. better break my insomnia again...
after so many talks with my housemates, i noe how stupid i m in EQ. part of my new sem resolution; will change tt.. n must save more $! ok gtg read b n slp

*what m i fighting for? there must be something more*


God indeed answered my prayer..
maybe it is a blessing in disguise..
All along I wanted to stop my addiction for WoW and start slping early and today after so long... I know I can do it. I stopped my subscription for WoW and I'm going to stop lazing around and start afresh.. I just hope in doing this, I won't be so extreme


today, feeling not so gd...
ytd thinking of the future.. not like what A says tt we r growing up too fast, but more of what I should do.. It scares me a lot... I want to achieve this but then it seems impossible.. I wish this but then it turn out this way.. Maybe I can't see the reason why God made it this way, but hope I can see it soon. Today, somehow the $ prob seemed to hit me really hard, but luckily A & P talked me out of it, n I feel much better now..
haha becoming a loner again... just want to be by myself and myself only.. becoming anti-social.. like what A said long time ago, staying in my 'habitat'.. I do try here n there to go out more often n talk to ppl... but sometimes just like to be by myself... or at the very most be with the ppl closest to me where i feel secure... arghhh i better snap out of this


I admit this hol is mostly wasted.. maybe I should'nt believe so much in play hard then study hard.. anyway, this is not the point..

ytd, ok make it 2 days ago since it is already past 12am.. it's tt day..I was thinking, well yeah as usual.. it is so ironic.. I tell A tt accept the reality but I myself can't accept it.. at the very most I can accept it at face value.. I don't know why I can't accept it till now.. To think of it, I just can't help myself but ya.. I guess the only difference with now n then is the philosophy behind it.. It took really long.. I had the perfect everything then and then nada. but now, the repercussion made me a stronger person and finally over here closer to God.

got my results, and I m satisfied with it but not with the last min studying. last semester was much more busy than the previous with the addition of church n cell grp n um warcraft n hk series, n I could only think it is the grace of God n of cos my mum tt helped me.. I hope I won't go backwards in faith..God works in mysterious ways.. I just hoped tt in due time the truth will be revealed to others... tt sometimes we fall for a reason.. tt it makes us a stronger person n be stronger in faith..
the new semester is coming and I am already shaking in my pants.. everything is so english eng with all the essays n reports... I hope I can find time to study, work, n learn driving.. but to this new semester resolution, I want to add tt I must at least go to church every wk. hehe like what mum says, it quietens my mind.. I hope I can say at the end tt I hv finished the race n kept the faith..


headache again...
these past few days though I wished I planned it better, it is still well spent.. 1st of all started working.. it helps with my insomnia.. somehow I can slp better.. but today.. the headache is quite bad.. dont want to take panadol, haha i think mum cant send too much..
working there- Tk you so much Lord.. I know I prob can't find such a job by myself, but You made it happen.. To me, to finally work in the service industry once again after so long, it's quite hard.. I just can't rmbr the formulas.. I memorised it at home, but then when I go there, just forget again.. haix.. hope it is not becos of my lack of slp or headache.. but thankfully, the ppl there help me a lot..
church-wise- changed cell grp.. luckily not much change.. wished J n M can be in our cell but nvm lah.. It doesnt affect our friendship much.. it's quite ironic actually, I asked God long time ago I wanted to learn dancing.. n now He gave me the chance.. But then I realised I just don't like it so much.. haix...
today, ok i mean ytd (sat), memorial service.. 6 days short of the actual.. but wished I was back in s'pore to be with my family... time passes by so fast.. sometimes, holding on to ur memories is not gd but somehow I just want to rmbr.. oh well.. maybe i hv to take the panadol after all..


actually i didnt want to continue writing this blog esp since there was something wrong with my email a/c but somehow.. i managed to reset the whole thing and here I am writing another entry..
today, yet another day after the exams.. this whole hol is crap.. the only thing i done tt is constructive is tt i organise the things in my room and learn much more for the theory driving test.
2 things tt happened to me tt i found rather interesting.. 1st is this song tt I introduced to my sis: eagle's wings by hillsongs.. I really like this song.. just like the meaning and the comfort it gives me.. then I found out from my sis tt it is actually a theme song tt I sang in my sec sch.
the 2nd thing tt I discovered is tt this girl in my cell is v similiar in thinking to me and apple. for once, even though we knew each other for so long, we just talked so much on msn today.. n I feel my emotional burden lessen.. becos Im not the only one who felt tt way...

anyways enough of tt.. my insomnia is getting worse.. just can't slp.. even if i do wake up earlier like on sun for church.. tt same day i slpt at 530am. my eyerings are getting really v obvious. n the strange thing was tt i dont even noe what I am bothered by till I cant slp. my fren asked me what I am worrying abt and I myself dont noe the answer.. so now I am thinking again.. haha this is so ironic.. I know I am not happy these past few days.. partially becos i miss someone so much.. n i do miss hugging my mum n sis.. maybe becos i cant find work.. maybe the exams..i dont noe the full answer.
I am starting to withdraw from everybody again.. I just want to be by myself.. to stay in my room.. n ignore wat is going on.. so now trying to go out more often.. as for Christian part.. I dont noe why it is a standstill now.. exams period, i just felt it so strongly tt I can do more.. but now.. it is just at a standstill.. but still, tk u Lord for giving me another fren to confide with..