father's day is coming.. I didn't noe different country hv diff day set for such occasions.

It has been many years already. There r things I regret and cannot forget. I always regret why I don't say sorry earlier..It's always too late. Why I never spend enough time. Why I never learn from my mistakes. Then I wonder why sometimes God take things away from u and then u realise how impt or how dear it is to u. How everything around u can change... u see who r ur real frens r and at the end of the day u also see ur family is the one tt will always support u.

I noe I should try to study hard.. but sometimes I really can't.. It seems the more I want to do better, the more I doubt my ability. I always feel inferior. Will try harder this semester


ytd except for the later part of the night was just pure slacking... :( but then was really very happy when we went to northbridge to eat dinner :) Really nice food! haha thanks to annice and ayrin. And the whole outing was quite hilarious. hehe if only u can hear her scream at the train station or at the restaurant. Wah, the one at the restaurant is really v loud. So loud until most of the occupants turn around to stare at her. hehe... and the waitor was so embarrassed until he offered to treat her a drink. But overall a really nice trip though it was quite late at nite.

today, cannot slack so much though my hands r itching to watch lethal weapons of love and passion. but will try to finish most of what i should finish today plus my HB project for tmr!! wahhhh ok must resist temptation.

b4 i sign off, hehe so cute... was hving lunch with annice :) Yup her fried rice nice as usual, nothing unusual :) The thing was tt annice killed a housefly! ok scratch tt, she killed 2. But one housefly's death was really more significant than the other. Cos it was pregnant... EE!! All the yellow lava thingy was like crawling out of the mother's womb. Wah liao it was so disgusting but then again it was damn interesting. hehe but I couldn't bear to clear up. Cos when I tried, more of those lavae thingy crawled out from the womb..Most of my hair on my hand started standing. hehe sorry apple, pls help us k? :)


not long ago, I had a really horrible dream. Not tt I dreamt of somebody after me or wat, I don't even feel like mentioning here. But the thing is tt it was a dream of a person tt I didn't dream about for years. It was so vivid tt I can recall even up to now. I know I was crying so much in the dream and even when I woke up my pillow was wet too. And the worse thing was tt there was nobody at home either. anyway, it is over and I do feel better =)Even though today I had another nightmare, but tt one is really v minor.. Dreamt tt somehow I cannot pass this upcoming semester.. But whatever lah...and ytd, finally got a pic with annice only! haha now my display on my hp =)

Next week is sch break for like 1 week.. I hope I know how to plan this properly...

Actually I know I am supposed to reply to a msg. I just want some time on my own.. I don't feel like talking for this hr..resorting to locking my room and switching off my hp. Sorry to whoever who tried to talk to me.. Just thinking how to reply it... I know myself or at least I know certain aspects of myself tt is really repulsive to some pple. I know I am stubborn. I always like things my own way. I always impose on others what I think is gd for them though they don't like it. I don't like pretending to be happy when I am really not happy so I rather shut myself up for this time... anyway, feel better already.. should be able to talk to pple now..


today is quite productive... did some revising and went to subi for house shopping..
and my little sis msg me =) hehe nice to hear from her once in a while..

Only some part of the day was spoiled when I was in the bus I met this 2 racist idiots who directed insults at me. Hate this idiots.. don't want to say what exactly happened.. but thanks to mrs wonka who taught me some foul words I can use on these kind of pple in the future..

And yes back to story, today is productive.. Finally the fridge and dustbin are cleaned and cleared. Schedules are done for the washing machine. =) finally! And I must intro a new fav fruit of mine. Blood orange!! looks disgusting cos it is like red colour inside but it is really sweet *or is it sour?* haha so addicted to it now.. ok back to studying!


I was wasting my time from evening until now... Can stop playing imvu but then went back to my old habit of watching hk series... Maybe I always think a lot, maybe I do think too much or maybe it is just me but I always like to think about what I should have done in the past or should do in the future... I don't like being a escapist and neither anyone else if they are given a choice. I know myself that this semester is like a repeat of the period of time after my A's or the time way long ago.. It all seems fine but to me everything is not fine. I think abt financial matters, I think of family matters, I think of friendship matters and then to top it off I think of why I keep persisting in doing things or thinking of thinks that I should not do.

I know this semester is easier as compared to last semester. Well according to most pple around me.. But with microbiology, human bio and epi and bio stats? I am trying to do my revision ahead.. but sometimes it is so difficult to comprehend.. Then I start thinking what if it is a repeat of last semester? And the worst thing is that instead of trying even harder, I turn to watching hk series or just doing any other thing to stop thinking of it. Despite all that has happened, I wish my family was here to support me.. Though my mum may be naggy at times, but when I confide whatever trouble I have she usually talk until she make me feel better.. Even my younger sis. I miss her so much... She is having her prelims now and I am not there to help her... I miss her hugging me.. miss her telling me gossips in her sch.. she sitting/lying on my bed after sch and I would in turn tickle her becos she haven't bath yet. Or she accompanying me or vice versa if we were to slp late... Even my elder sis.. She is just so mature. Can talk to her things that is so hard to tell others.

ok enough of family... you know I was watching 'dance of passion' earlier on. This was the 1st time I see a hk serial tt has so many meaning. Their main theme encompasses things from destiny to relationships. Friends can be close like blood sisters. Always looking out for each other. Doing things for each other despite any repercussions that may come their way. There was this part that really caught my attention. Gigi telling charmaine that to tell her truthfully what she really feel, as keeping things to herself is really a heavy burden to bear.Maybe it is some kind of romantic view of life but I always wish for a fren like tt. I wish on my part I can say so much or confide how I really feel.. but there r times I don't even know what I really feel. I always try to abide to what is ideal, even to the point that it is too idealistic. There r so many facades tt I use till I forgot what is my true self...

I guess now I should try to make 'hardworking' part of my true self and stop procrastinating


today finally got the flu... the 1st time I got a flu in australia.. haha and not long ago as in a few days ago I told bathroom mate that I do not need the medicine becos I don't get sick easily. How ironic... anyway, a quick update...

today: felt really bad. I skipped the 1st lecture of this semester... I don't like skipping lectures esp if I find they are useful to me. But today, becos I felt really sick, I could not get up though I was awake earlier. 1st time I had a flu so bad until my legs are like jelly.. even during chem prac, (well nuts to them don't even provide chairs for us to sit)which was much later in the day, can't even stand up for 1 hr. and the stupid medicine make me feel so drowsy till I cannot even conc in my com class. Ahem must note esp to wei ling jie, I am not sick becos of stress from studying or lack of water but just caught it from someone in sch.

yup, haha must strive to finish my hw asap so tt I can watch my hk series.. "lethal weapons of love and passion" or "dance of passion". But I can endure.. the only thing is to fight off to drowsiness..


today was just checking my friendster email... feel so bad cos I never write my blog.. then make my fren worry... sorry sorry will write my blog more often...

haha must mention this fact.. not long ago I won a bet! haha it may be just 50 cents but it was so gratifying cos if it didn't rain 2 minutes b4 midnight I would hv lost the bet =p Haha if only u could see the face on bathroom mate's face.. so funny.. okok yup back to today... wahhh had 2 lectures in the morning... so tired... cannot keep awake esp for HB133. Esp for the video, even though my fren tried to wake me up with her music, I stil can't muster the strength to do so. And aiyo my neighbour next door is sick! and still so stubborn.. okk better not say anymore wait till she get angry =)

actually...today when I was going thru my friendster email after dunno how many donkey years, I just..got reminded of the past..His bday is coming up.. I don't know why I cannot let go. And to think I always tell my fren back in s'pore to forget.. haha I definitely cannot do what I preach.. I think he forgot who I am.. It has been so long since I last saw or talk to him... ok concentrate on studies...try


today,woke up bright and early for class and hahaha my chem prac class was like less than 1/2 hr long...

yup will try to write my blog more often since I caused my fren to worry.. Yup I rarely go on friendster or msn or answer my emails.. haha been busy plus I love IMVU!! let me recount...

1st random nut: tt nut was really rude, i said hi but no reply then fight with me. nuts to tt nut.
2nd nut: really nice girl from japan.. v cool background and pretty nice..
3rd nut: this guy from egypt.. haha learned a lot abt his country, really sweet guy but I still don't want to give my email contacts.
4th nut:this is the longest conversation.. And this guy is like some pervert, since he kept kissing but he is a nice person.. after kissing he says sorry but haha he can sweet talk a lot; not as gd as the 3rd nut but nice overall.. now learning to be a police officer though he is like 2 yrs younger than me. haha but still won't give him my contacts. haha so addicted to this.. will study after this i promise :P


sigh... ytd slp so early (around 11pm) but today still feel so tired..

haha for the 1st time after dunno how long I didn't slp in lect.. but the prob was tt it was not my lect. But aiyo, annice's lecture is definitely more interesting than all of mine... haha but I prefer my major still. Hers is too difficult to comprehend since I don't even read newspapers :P anyway.. after 2 days of slacking.. I will study hard!! haha no more IMVU chatting and more 'leisure reading'. Must finish chem test by this week so can start revising for the other subjects... And NotEs!! okok I shall stop acting as a nerd and be one :)


today is prob one of the most slack day I ever had...I know I should be finding a job and study real hard...

I guess what annice says is true..she ask me to do A I do B. I am not sure it is applicable to today, but I really don't feel like studying today... I am just not happy today. Even though I watched my hk serial I still don't feel happy. It is like after watching, reality just sinks in again. I feel like a loner in class. Sure I can talk to pple but who actually can understand what I am trying to say? My 1st language is english and I don't even hv the confidence to talk to others, till sometimes I just swallow my words. I don't know how to encourage my sis to push on. The printer just won't print properly for me. I can't concentrate on even reading my lect notes. I can't re-write my chem notes. Hv this stupid headache tt prevents me from slping. It is simply not going the way I want it to be... Pls let me be in control once again and not be some weak minded fool tt can be manipulated


today started out fine and happy :)we were all out at the living room studying etc... haha and apple and annice got tipsy.. initially panicked cos i never see them so tipsy b4 but then it turned out quite funny after tt :P esp tt look on annice's face when she was red and all was so priceless. and apple being slpy was also so cute..

then after tt not so happy... I don't know why we always end up arguing.. esp this yr... so envious of payal... I don't like fighting.. but we hv such different views over what course I should take... And I don't like how she says tt from my tone I don't feel like talking to her... says I am always busy talking to my housemates or eating dinner etc till I don't want to talk to her. Then she says I should find job and start studying properly.. I really do try to study harder.. Sch has barely started and I am really pushing it harder than last semester.. I am doing chem tests way ahead of time, doing hw tt r not even taught yet.. What else should I do? I want to find a job. But I find it so hard esp with the transport prob.. I just dunno what to do.. I feel so stress.. Like such a letdown.. control.. yes I will hv control.. better slp early for lect tmr..


today got up bright and early.. to see a fren off :( How to put it? I did not cry but felt sad.. Only got to know her better and then now she have to go back home...

Not long ago, found out something which I tot was rather disturbing but like what bathroom mate says it is expected, so I didn't take it much to heart. at most just thinking of the past... This semester pple in physio will be doing musculoskeletal system etc.. really much more hands on as compared than last semester... but oh well... what I am doing is just as great... or even if not, I hope I can learn to love it. so studying, and also relaxing a bit here and there by watching hk series.. haha I can hear my mum in the background nagging at me tt it is pointless.. so yup will start reading more bks as leisure reading :P and today!! haha I must say I went to the restaurant for singaporean food :) :) so happy.. if only can go there every week :) but not enough $$ :( aiya counting the days I can go back to eat my laksa and ho fun or the oyster omelette by my mum :) :) and I don't know why lately I keep on thinking of my little sis.. :( nuts to her never go online. speaking of tt, i gtg study too..


today.. tired as usual... early as in the wee hours of the morning had microbio class.. it is interesting but cannot concentrate... was worrying abt the chem test and then I did not do the back part of the micro wkbk.. haha but then it turned out tt it was for next next week hw. And the same chem teacher was lenient with me, so thank goodness I passed.

today was an 'interesting' day.. I flirted with this guy online. fought with another girl for this guy on the roller coaster. haha okok lah, not in reality.. but it was fun.. though I was not the nut who was writing the script (- -) thank you apple :)And today!! payal and apple cook dinner! THANK U! and then bathroom mate bought my lunch today. Thanks! but then she did not accept the drink from mrs wonka and I.. okok I shall resist the temptation of chatting in either msn or IMVU or blog, and do my hw :(


YaWn... So tired.. whole brain like cannot function.. Supposed to study for the test tmr but then spent so much time looking for a job online. Yes yes, will try to study it after writing this blog.

today's test was a fluke. Was like racking my tired brain for answers, but some really cannot remember like which cycloalkane had the greatest strain. haha but then I really like the teacher who marked my paper. She was so patient with me when I kept bugging her to explain why I was wrong. I think one question I asked her 3 or 4 times to repeat. Really really very nice. I think so far she is the best I ever come across. And today's lunch.. I know this is like something out of the blue.. but payal helped me cook my lunch today. Sp envious.. she noe how to fry an omelette without changing it into a scrambled eggs.. :) tks once again.. and and sigh ok I better get back to studying.. I don't think tmr I will be just as lucky, so must put in more effort


today I finally got back my dear laptop.. So thankful.. even though I hv to braved the crappy weather and was even late for my 1st class, I made it :) Oops ok I was supposed to say tt I finally started sch today but then... what to say of sch?

Been in the funk for a few days abt some matter which is not related to sch. hmm I guess even today.. I don't know how to approach the matter. It is like so delicate until I rather not say anything just in case it further aggravates the situation. I think I hv an inkling as to wat she may be not so happy abt but I don't like to broach on tt topic with her either... So hard to handle.. I hate standing at the side and pretend nothing has happen.. And ironically, the same person always say I think too much.. maybe I am.. Feeling so stupid as usual.. whatever...